If You Come Across This Plant, Don’t Ever Touch It

So, What Should You Do If You Find It?

Leave it alone. That’s step one. Put down that hand grenade.

Step two: don’t be yanking that stuff up unless you’re gloved up, long-sleeved up and exercising extreme caution. And if you do get it on your skin, wash with soap and water right away. If you think you may have touched some accidentally to your mouth or eyes — or if you feel unwell — get help from a doctor quickly.

Oh, and PSA: don’t burn it. The smoke can be toxic too. Because of course it can.

Beautiful But Dangerous

Nature’s funny like that. It’s often the ugliest things with the most beautiful faces. Like those cupcakes with 1,000 calories — they make a cute picture, but you know what your arteries are thinking.

The thing about Poison Hemlock is, it’s sneaky. It doesn’t have the danger factor of, say, a rattlesnake or a sketchy mushroom. It murmurs this — with purple blotches, and a sour smell that you don’t notice till it’s too late.

So yeah, I’m that person now. The one identifying plants on hikes like some amateur botanist on a bender. But hey — good to be safe and not end up the cautionary tale, right?

hemlock

When in doubt, take a picture (and please, PLEASE don’t touch!) and ask a local expert. And perhaps — just perhaps — avoid frolicking in fields unless you’re absolutely, positively certain the flowers aren’t up to something sinister.

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